Participating in an affair necessitates entering an altered state of consciousness where only part of reality can be processed, the part that has to do with pleasure.
It’s like being in a trance, complete with it’s own logic.
Sitting alone on New Year’s Eve or Saturday night, you feel you have no power at all.
Feeling very good/very bad about yourself Everyone’s self esteem soars when they experience attracting someone who is attractive to them.
If you didn’t make it so easy and perfect when he is with you, by not complaining and making sure you look absolutely gorgeous, by having the house spotless…if you were just your ordinary every day self, the way his wife is, would he still treasure you?
If you weren’t providing an escape from another relationship, would he still want you?
You know you are participating in something that is potentially damaging to many people and that there could be repercussions for yourself.
You maintain the sense of safety by trying not to think about these realities.
However, as time goes by he becomes one of the few people you can be intimate with because you cannot share what is most important for you in your life with most others.You find yourself forgoing activities that you used to enjoy that might make you unavailable to him should he suddenly have time to see you.The silence of the phone can feel like the bars of this prison.If talking to your lover is making it worse, it is important to break your isolation by finding someone who you can trust to talk to. It was his first time in the city and he was all excited.