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It’s hard, but you can do it—even if “doing it” means making it to the grocery store in your pajamas. Time doesn’t make things entirely better, but it does make them easier.

Here’s some advice on how to cope with your new life or how to treat someone who has recently lost a spouse, from widows and widowers who have already been there.

If you don’t set a specific time and date, the widow or widower will likely never follow through.

A lot of people with good intentions try to make a widow feel better by saying something like “I know how you feel.” Even if you, too, have lost a spouse, you can’t compare your loss to someone else’s.

"If you get upset every time somebody says something stupid, you’re going to be upset a lot, and it’s just not worth it."A lot of spouses feel guilty for moving on and being happy, but your late spouse wouldn’t want you to sit around and cry all day forever, Johnson says.

Life goes on, and you can either stay at home and cry“How are you doing? “If people really wanted to know how I was doing, they would ask specific questions like, ‘Are you eating? ’ and then they would try to help me fix whatever specific problems I was having.”Some people are back to normal within months, but for others it takes years.

” is Johnson’s least favorite question in the world. “Be sensitive to the way people handle their grief,” Peterson says.

Suddenly, they feel like they don’t belong anywhere anymore.Helping a Child Who Has Lost a Parent Most kids need some kind of therapy, but they’re not old enough to make that decision for themselves.As their parent, you need to take charge and get them help.He warns against letting those emotions control your actions.“You’re so vulnerable and lonely, and you just want to be held by somebody,” he says.

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